On Chess:
There was never a reason to learn, but usually I don't explain that piece immediately
Childhood was learning how to hide within metaphors, keeping safe within tangles of alternate reality daydreams, outrunning the pain on the seat of a bicycle I would crash one too many times
Not theoretical battles over pieces of plastic and wooden boards
But endless war raging between my ears
Friendly fire because little girls understand too early how to care for others by shouldering the blame over and over again
Hand grenades cradled in soft fingers intent upon protecting the softness
Of everyone around her
The concepts made for rich story telling, and so every now and again I'd wield the mighty "checkmate" or invoke the image of a warrior queen hellbent on protecting her king, perhaps even liken loss to a sacrificial pawn
Maturing wasn't learning the rules of the game
It was understanding
Where the metaphor ends and the human begins
Developing an awareness around how for so long I escaped the discomfort of "now" by fashioning every heartache into an algebraic expression of odds of a discovered attack
Accepting the law stitched in between the atoms of creation in its entirety
Lived experiences cannot be reduced to opening moves and mainline attacks
Connection is not strategy
Being loved means not having to think three moves ahead of the man meeting your eyes across all the pieces we've laid out on the table before us
Intimacy can be found in the fight to take up space in each other's territories
Defeat isn't loss, it's opportunity to start fresh
Because we've proven we're willing to step back up to the board
Over and over again
Pretending we don't know what the outcome will be
An easy inhale exhale rhythm
Devotion as simple as pawn to E4
As creative and as sideways as the Bird
Yearning for a lifetime of learning and growing in this space
Less metaphor
More literal
Perfectly and simply
Us